Monday, September 21, 2009

Big Girls - Ch. 2.2

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  1. Going to sign off now. Hopefully those lengthy posts got everyone started off just right with the story.

    I look forward to any comments you may have.

    Up next:
    ~ We meet Subrina's mother.

    P.S. Most posting will take place after 10pm if no unforeseen circumstances pop up.

  2. Heyyyy,

    You know Suprina, I've told you on several occasions that GOD works through you in so many ways - I got chills reading the 2nd Chapter because I had a best friend (hint the word HAD) - she went through a nasty divorce but WE got through it with a lot of prayer. After about a year she gets the courage to stick her foot back in the dating pool. We celebrated together. After a while she meets this man - good Christian man who accepts her and her kids - Oh Happy Day - so they date - I watch the kids, give pointers on cooking candlelite dinners the whole nine right - then he pops the question - Happy Dance, Happy Dance - help plan the wedding - matron of honor, my whole family participates in the wedding because you know she's my girl - then drama starts. Calls start dropping off and in the beginning I'm understanding cuz "Chante's Got A Man" ok so I step back then no calls, no return calls, no nothing so I call and get she's napping or she's in the shower and I'm like she's become a shower, sleeping fool then because there ain't that much water and rest in the world. So after about 3 phone calls like that I go over there because now I'm concerned and thinking is he doing something to her and she's afraid to tell me (you know christian or not you have to keep your eyes open). I got the surprise of a life time. In so many words she told me that she could not have a husband and best friend and she needed to focus on her marriage so I was kicked to the curb. I was so hurt and still is a little but as they say continue to pray for her and I do. Spooky huh LOL

  3. Jrboss: Wow...and Wow again!

    Chapter 2 gave you chills, huh? Me too, girl. I was tingling when I wrote it. I should have known then that somebody besides me was going to get blessed by it.

    Sorry about your loss of friendship. Trust me. I understand your pain. I have definitely been there.

    I personally think it was wrong of your friend to treat you that way, but that may not make you feel any better. You still don't have your friend.

    What I hope does make you feel better is the encouragement that your unselfish prayers will not go unheeded. You will be rewarded for the great things you did during that friendship and your diligence in praying for her now. In short, your efforts weren't/aren't in vain.

    It's sad that some woman don't feel as if they can multi-task when it comes to marriage and their friendships. Some women even drop their relatives too when they get a man. It is definitely a balancing act, but highly possible. One just has to be committed to making it work.

  4. Prina I tried not to post anything until after finals this Wednesday but Leesha has made me HOT!!!...I have a friend who is sort of like her in a way such as falling for any man that will pay her any attention plus having babies and playing spin-the-tail on the father because whoever smiled her way she let lay...Then you have someone like me who looks at a man with a hard stare like "nigga you better come correct if you have the nerves to step to me" (probably why I'm still single too)...Anyway all women in general big, small, short, or tall set your standards high and let no man make you lower them to be with him...Back to studying...Nite Nite

  5. Subrina: When I read your comment, I was like, "This truly is a touchy subject for a lot of folks. Even got Subrina, (whom the main character is name after, btw, for those who didn't know) dropping the N-bomb."

    As for the rest of your comments, I feel you, girl. I also know women who will open their ladies at the slightest look from a man. When I was single I made men work a lot harder than that to get with me. The couple of times I did give in easily were disasters.

    I so understand your hard stare. Your namesake is gonna be like that you times, because she's not going to be able to resist a special someone no matter how hard she tries (spoiler). lol.

    Enjoy your studying. Check back in when you can.

  6. This chapter was definitely touchy for me because I struggle with the balancing act in my marriage also.

    My husband just put me check! LOL


    I feel for women like Leesha because it is so sad the way she has NO self esteem. I wonder has anyone ever told her they love her?

    Keep on praying for your friend Jrboss! Subrina you keep on checking them fellas and the right one will come your way.

  7. Subrina: I meant to say 'women who will open their LEGS at the slightest look from a man' earlier. lol. Sorry for the typo. I was typing too fast and thinking even faster. lol.

    Paula: You're on my prayer list about that balancing act thing. I don't want hubby to have to put you in check too many more times about that. I'm just glad y'all have an open relationship to even discuss the issue. Some couples don't.

    As for Leesha, Subrina tells her that she loves her all the time, but it's not enough. Leesha wants to hear those words from a MAN. I think it has something to do with the fact that she didn't have a strong father figure in her life.

    Even though Subrina suffered self-esteem issues also, the fact that she had a good stepfather in her life after her birth father passed seemed to have made her a stronger person than Leesha in that area.

    Kudos to you, Paula, for all the great advice you're giving out to our blog sistas.

  8. Latrice12:38 AM

    This chapter touched home on so many levels. Getting right to the point.

    Leesha- we allow people to do this to us, cause our self-esteem to be so low that all we see or say about ourselves is what they say about us. We long for something so deeply that we simply just accept whatever from who ever. I've been Leesha on a major scale especially when it came to keeping the truth to myself and pretending that all was well. On the outside, I looked good, talked the talk could even look like I was walking the walk of absolute happiness but on the inside i was broken into so many pieces that I could pass for humpty dumpty's sister. I was isolated from family on so many levels and I refused to hear what they had to say which simply pushed them further away from me so some of that isolation was created by me.

    Subrina- It hurts like all H>>> when all you're trying to do is help and it's perceived as everything but that. By the same token, we must always remember that how we present things to people is equally important as what we're presenting.

    Although Leesha probably still wouldn't heed the warnings simply out of her own deep rooted needs, Subrina could have stepped to her in a totally different manner. I realize her feelings were hurt and she most like felt like she was losing a part of herself, me must always remember through love and kindness we draw one another.

    One last thought, I loved that open invitation that Subrina gave Leesha to always come to her if she needed anything. Sometimes we just have to leave the door open and be ready to answer when the knock comes.

  9. Latrice: Even though you are new to this blog, you are fitting right in with everybody. I LOVE that! I also love everything you said in your comment.

    To all: Y'all are really showing out in the comment section this time around...and right off the bat. So much wisdom is flowing, so many new insights are being shared. Wow! I have personally had to pause over each comment because they contain so much meat and you know a sista is always hungry for more knowledge. So keep it coming y'all.

    Now let me got back to writing. I'm supposed to post more tonight, but the comments got caught up. LOL!

  10. I meant to say, 'the comments got me caught up' lol. See how excited y'all have made me with all this productive girl-talk.

    Going back to write for real this time...

  11. @ JrBoss, I am sooo sorry that happened to you!

    @ Subrina, "spin-the-tail on the father.." LOL to funny!

    @ Latrice, good words, good advice.

    Subrina use some of her money to hire a gang of hit men to meet Ricky in a back alley somewhere and beat him black and blue (smile) Leesha would never know (smerk)... I know that is not Christian... but it would would make her feel better! LOL

  12. Comm/Girl: If Subrina did that, it would make us all FEEL better. lol. But would we actually BE better?

  13. that is just downright SAD and shameful....out of desperation for love Leesha is kicking Subrina to the curb... SHOCKING that women do that to other women for CARE for them... i guess i'm living in lala land...coz i never had gf who ever did that to me...EISH, but u know i can understand how a low self-worth can make you do things like that.... and that damn fool Ricky is feeding her damaged spirit as you so eloquently put it Suprina! Bloody idiot!

  14. Kim: You've been fortunate in that area not to have gone through that nonsense. It's horrible to experience. I hope you NEVER encounter such things.

    You're right. Ricky is a bloody idiot! Not necessarily a monster, but an outright IDIOT.