Monday, September 21, 2009

Big Girls - Ch. 2.1

Post removed by author.


  1. I wrote this part I realized I've been on both sides of this fence. I've been the caring friend trying to let someone know that they are being played or taken advantage of. I've also been that stubborn hearer who thinks 'her' man can't do no wrong or at least is not as wrong as everybody thinks he is.

    Sigh. You live, you learn. Both are awkward positions to be in.

    Which side of the fence have you been on?

  2. I have been on both sides of the fence.

    I was dating a man bout 9 years older than me. He was staying with me and not working. I gave him my last $10 to buy something to cook and do you know what the M&*(&& F*&*$% did? He went and bought bear and drank them all without even saving me one. When I asked him why he did that the Son *& A *&%$# said he was thirsty. The bad part about it is I was ashamed to tell anyone and I stayed hungry for a whole week until payday.



    Sorry if I offended anyone with my language but just thinking about it brought back those hunger pains and made me angry all over again.

  3. Paula: You didn't offend me at all. I understand exactly where you're coming from and also your lingering anger about how you let yourself get played. Been there, done that, too. No shame in my game. I'm just glad we both LEARNED our lesson.

    As for old dude who went and blew your food money for beer, his selfish behind got a day of reaping coming for that one...if it hasn't come already.

    To all: Thanks for sharing your experiences with us. Hopefully they will help other woman avoid the same mistakes we made.

  4. Latrice11:47 PM

    Wow ladies I've been on both sides of the fence as well and my attitude was probably just as jacked up as Leesha's. So many times we get messages and hints from so many people/things and we ignore them and become defensive only to have to come back later and admit not only were we wrong for our defensiveness but the way we treated those who truly loved us was completely out of order. Leesha's dig about the car was very, very low and hurt my feelings and I didn't give her the car. But this very action is sometimes displayed especially in the heat of the moment which should teach us that we should be slow to speak and quick to listen. I also understood Subrina's side but the way we come at people sometimes breeds the negative response so another lesson is sometimes we may have to ease into a conversation for it to be fruitful. Suprina, loving this story line, it's helping me on a personal level. I did like the fact that even though Subrina really didn't like Ricky, she did her best to be civil to him. Again, the twins, somebody break them down to the lowest common denominator please. Can't wait to see what's going to happen to them.

  5. Latrice: Girl, you said a mouthful. Where do I begin to address the insightful things you said?


    Okay, you're so right about how defensive folks act with confronted with truth. I think pride gets in the way, too, which means we have to be humbled.

    I agree that we should be slow to speak and quick to listen. And I was personally offended when Leesha tripped about that car business. That was ungratefulness in my eyes, but I do understand why she was mad. After all, Subrina did step to her with hostility first, even though 2 wrongs don't make a right.

    As for Subrina, she was so hurt about being left out of the loop that she started the conversation off wrong. She should have calmed down first, then called to see what's up. The twins taking digs at her didn't help her attitude either. So even though her heart and even her message was right, her delivery was jacked up at times.

    That part about Subrina treating Ricky all civil like was put in at the last minute. I wanted her to treat him like dirt every time he came around, but I really felt compelled to have her not add to her friend's problems by behaving this way. I'm glad I changed it, because it sends a better message to all.

    I like that common denominator comment. Don't be surprised if you see that somewhere in the story, because it is witty and golden.

  6. @ Paula, LOL!!! girl! I hear ya.
    @ 'Prina' and Latrice; you all said it all accept one thing...

    I can sympathize with Leesha, sometimes a person has been hurting so long... lonely so long... waiting so long that they want even the littlest bit of happiness. Even if that little bit is really a lie. Sometimes the lie if more pleasing then the truth. And eventhough Sabrina is right by telling Leesha the truth that truth is taking away Leesha's happiness.

    Not a good thing i know, but I get it.

  7. Latrice9:30 PM

    Paula, you are so right about that and I really did miss that one but I'm in complete agreement with you! Sometimes we'll take what we can get at the moment even if it's only going to last a moment!

  8. Comm/Girl: I'm sure a lot of folks can sympathize and identify with Leesha's mindset. Some of us have had that mindset for a long time and are just getting free from it.

    The key words here are 'get free', because when we act and think like Leesha, we open the door for people to take advantage of us. Mercilessly so.

  9. Anonymous12:40 PM

    wow this some crazy stuff i been there with my best friend many of times and it goes in one ear and out the other hopefully she wake up but somehting tells me she not.

  10. Anon: You've been there many of times with your best friend? Wow! Talk about a stubborn hearer. I hope she does wake up sooner than later.